I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
