Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
