how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
