Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
