Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
