well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My vagina is officially offended.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
