I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
