i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
