Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Fuck appropriateness.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
