I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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