they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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