you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
