I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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