**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am spending my child support on dildos
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
