I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
