And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
