yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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