How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
