but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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