just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
