Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I party with great urgency now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
