I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
