can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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