eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
