My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
