yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's like heaven, but drunker
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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