Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
