so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
