Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
