We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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