You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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