those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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