Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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