so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
