your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
