i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
