My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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