She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
