okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
