is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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