I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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