Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
