She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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