Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
