I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize