Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
