...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
