So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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