I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i now understand why vodka
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
