I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
