once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So many bounce houses so little time
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
