When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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