I have demons in me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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