this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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