we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
