Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You are the jesus of drinking
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize