FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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