I don't think brook has ever known best
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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