Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
