I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
