Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
