Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
