Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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