BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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