redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
