hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
