I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize