Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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