About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
