If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
there was a trapeze. enough said
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
